I sit there looking at my empty screen listening to my new-found meditating music and I wait. In my head a million thoughts, in my heart an endless sea of emotions, but yet nothing is coming out. Where are the words when you need them.
So frustrating is the feeling, I type a couple of lines and then take them out, words are not coherent and don’t sound right. I light another cigarette another sip of coffee I type again, yet nothing is making sence, just a chaotic scatter of ideas and thoughts that are aimlessly going around in my head.
You can’t force yourself to write, that’s for sure, still I feel I have something to say. It always helps me to write down what I am feeling , it is a personal relief, and right now I find myself in a suffocating state, a state of nothingness although there is so much inside.
I just hang in there trying again and again, yet nothing. Then it hit me, with all that inner mix of thoughts and feelings and all that chaos of words and sentences, I do have something to say….it is Nothing, absolutely Nothing.